TED演讲:少抱怨外部因素、多思考如何解决问题(中英文)

Are there any other parents here who have struggled to get your kids out the door on time? Yeah, so you know it's like hurting kittens. My wife and I would start nagging our three daughters long before it was time to leave, but that obviously wasn't working because we were always late for everything.

这里还有其他家长为按时送孩子出门而头疼的吗？对，你们知道这感觉就像虐心一样。我和妻子早在出门前很久就开始唠叨三个女儿，但显然没用，结果我们做什么都迟到。

But one day it was a complete gong show. Five minutes before we needed to leave for an important event, I found my oldest daughter on the porch reading. My middle daughter was playing the piano, and my youngest daughter wasn't wearing any socks.

但有一天，场面完全失控了。就在我们出发参加一个重要活动前五分钟，我发现大女儿在门廊上看书，二女儿在弹钢琴，而小女儿竟然连袜子都没穿。

So I told them, stop reading, stop playing the piano, put on your socks, and everybody get in the car. Five minutes later, nobody was in the car. On my way to help my youngest daughter with her socks, I noticed my oldest daughter was still on the porch.

于是我吩咐他们：“别看书了，别弹钢琴了，把袜子穿上，全都给我上车。”五分钟后，车上依然空无一人。当我准备去帮小女儿穿袜子时，发现大女儿还站在门廊上没动。

Reading now I'm starting to lose it. Her response. I didn't hear you. But before I could say a word I heard the piano start playing again. And that's the story of how I lost my mind. The end. I just wanted my daughters to take a little ownership for getting out the door in time.

此刻读着这些，我快要气炸了。她的回应是：“我没听见你说什么。”可我还一句话都没来得及说，就又听见钢琴声响起。这就是我彻底崩溃的故事。故事结束。我只是希望女儿们能主动承担起按时出门的责任。唉。

But then I remembered something. I teach management teams. You can't inspire accountability in others until you model it yourself. That's when I realized I wasn't taking any accountability for this problem, I was blaming it totally on my daughters.

但后来我想起了一件事。我教授管理团队课程。如果你自己不以身作则，就无法激发他人的责任感。就在那时，我意识到自己对这个问题的处理完全没有担责，而是把全部责任都归咎于女儿们。

So I tried a different approach and looked in the mirror. What was I doing or not doing that may be contributing to this problem? Then it hit me. I knew when they needed to be done breakfast, dressed, groomed and ready to leave.

于是我换了个思路，照了照镜子。我正在做或没做的事情中，有哪些可能导致这个问题？突然灵光一闪——我清楚记得他们每天需要几点吃完早餐、穿好衣服、梳洗整齐准备出门。

But today I also knew what time it was. But there were no clocks in their bathrooms, which I discovered is like a different dimension from my girls where time ceases to exist. Solution. I put big clocks everywhere and posted the schedule in a common area.

但今天我也知道了时间。不过她们的浴室里没有时钟，我发现那对我来说就像一个不同的世界——在那里时间仿佛静止，而我的女儿们所在之处时间却停滞不前。解决办法是：我在所有地方都挂上大钟，并在公共区域张贴了日程表。

And you know what it actually worked now. We're not perfect to getting out the door in time, but it's much better than it was. I had fallen into the same trap that many people in leadership positions fall into, which is blaming other people for a problem without considering my part in it.

你知道吗，现在真的有效了。我们还没能每次都准时完成任务，但比以前好多了。我曾陷入许多身处领导岗位的人都会犯的一个陷阱，那就是在问题出现时责怪他人，却忽视了自己在其中应负的责任。

While working with leadership teams, I discovered three powerful habits that elevate the performance of others. I call it the three habits of personal accountability. Habit one. Don't blame. Habit two. Look in the mirror. Habit three, engineer. The solution. This sequence of habits has an almost magical effect on other people's behavior, and you get better results. But this isn't just for ceos and managers.

在与领导团队合作的过程中，我发现三个能显著提升他人表现的有效习惯。我将其称为"个人问责三大准则"。准则一：拒绝推诿。准则二：照镜子。第三个习惯，工程师。解决方案。这一系列习惯对他人行为有着近乎神奇的影响，而你也会收获更佳的结果。但这不仅适用于CEO和管理者。

We're all trying to help others be better right as a parent, a coworker or a volunteer here's why these habits work habit one. Don't blame think about the last time you blamed someone for something. How did it turn out?

作为父母、同事或志愿者，我们都在努力帮助他人变得更好，对吧？这就是为什么这些习惯有效——第一个习惯：不要责怪。想想上次你因某事责怪别人的时候，结果如何？

Probably not. Well, that's. Because our brains interpret blame the same way they interpret a physical attack, blame triggers the fight or flight response, which effectively shuts down our prefrontal cortex, which is the problem solving part of our brain.

可能不是。嗯，这是因为我们的大脑将责备与身体攻击以相同方式解读——责备会触发战斗或逃跑反应，这种反应会有效关闭我们的前额叶皮层，而前额叶正是大脑中负责解决问题的区域。

So when I was getting angry at my daughter's, it wasn't motivating them. It was actually impairing their brain function. Researcher. Dr. Amy Edmonson studied hospital teams to see how culture affects people's willingness to report medical airs.

所以，当我生女儿们的气时，并没有激励她们，实际上这损害了她们的大脑功能。研究员艾米·埃德蒙森博士曾研究医院团队，观察文化如何影响人们报告医疗失误的意愿。

She expected that the high performing teams would make fewer mistakes, but to her surprise, they reported more errors. Why? Because when people aren't blamed for problems, they're more willing to admit their mistakes and learn from them.

她原以为高效团队会犯更少的错误，但出乎意料的是，这些团队反而上报了更多失误。原因何在？因为当人们无需为问题担责时，会更愿意承认错误并从中学习。

But in cultures of blame, people hide problems or point their finger at someone else. No one is going to take accountability if they think they're going to be blamed for doing so. Blame destroys teamwork, problem solving, learning and initiative.

但在责备文化中，人们会隐藏问题或指责他人。如果人们担心自己因此被问责，就没人愿意主动担责。责备会摧毁团队合作、解决问题的能力、学习动力和主动性。

In other words, blame kills accountability. So what should we do instead? Habit two. Look in the mirror. Most of us are really good at noticing other people's mistakes, but we're not so good at noticing how we contribute to problems.

换句话说，责备会扼杀责任感。那么我们该怎么做呢？第二个习惯：自我反思。我们大多数人擅长发现别人的错误，却不善于意识到自己如何导致问题。

One time my assistant helped me mail out hundreds of expensive marketing packages to prospective clients. Three weeks later, no responses, so I checked one of the cover letters. It read. Dear Mr Smith.

有一次，我的助理曾帮我邮寄了几百份昂贵的营销包裹给潜在客户。三周后毫无回音，于是我检查了其中一封附信，上面写着："尊敬的史密斯先生："

Insert company name here. She missed one of the variable fields in every letter. Thousands of dollars down the drain. Now she felt awful and said, this is totally my fault. I was thinking, you are darn right.

在此处插入公司名称。她在每封信中都漏掉了一个变量字段。几千美元就这样白白浪费了。现在她感觉糟透了，说：“这完全是我的错。”我心想，你说得太对了。

This is totally your fault. But then I looked in the mirror, and I realized I didn't highlight any of the variable fields in yellow, like they are in all our other templates. If I had she couldn't have missed it now.

这完全都是你的错。但我后来照了照镜子，发现自己没有像其他所有模板那样用黄色突出显示任何变量字段。要是我当时标出来了，她现在肯定不会漏看了。

I'm not saying that every problem is my fault, but if I look closely enough at my problems, I can usually discover how my actions or inactions contributed to them in some way. This is a profound insight, because if I can see my part in a problem, I can do something about it.

我并不是说每个问题都是我的错，但只要足够仔细地审视自己的问题，我通常都能发现自己某些行为或无作为在某种程度上促成了这些问题。这是一个深刻的洞见，因为一旦我能看到自己在问题中的责任，就能采取行动去改变它。

The next time you encounter a problem, try this. Ask yourself, how may I have contributed to this problem? I taught these principles to a construction company and followed up a few weeks later to see how things had changed.

下次你遇到问题时，试试这个方法。先问自己："我可能对这个问题的产生起了什么作用？"我曾向一家建筑公司传授过这些原则，几周后跟进了解情况如何。

A project manager told me the following story. Our general manager is a total blamer and tea meetings usually turn into blame sessions. But the week after you taught us these principles, that meeting went very differently.

一位项目经理给我讲了以下故事。我们的总经理是个十足的甩锅侠，茶水间会议通常都会演变成互相指责的大会。但自从您教我们这些原则后的那周，那场会议完全变了样。

When our general manager identified a problem, he was about to lay into the person who he thought was responsible, but then he stopped, put his head in his hand for a moment, then looked up and said, this is how I think I contributed to the problem.

当我们的总经理发现问题时，他正要训斥他认为是责任人的人，但他停了下来，双手托腮沉默片刻，然后抬起头说道："我想我也有责任"。

The mood in that meeting changed instantly. Then I saw something I have never seen before. Other people began raising their hands saying, no boss. It wasn't just your fault. This is how I think I contributed to the problem.

会议的气氛瞬间改变了。然后我看到了我从未见过的场景——其他人开始举手说道："不，老板。这不只是你的错。我认为这是我导致问题的原因之一。"

When leaders acknowledge their part in problems first, it makes it safe for everybody else to do the same. And if nobody else follows suit, then you've earned the moral authority to ask. And how may you have contributed to this problem?

当领导者率先承认自己在问题中的责任时，这会让其他人也能安心效仿。如果无人跟随，你便拥有了要求他人反思的道德权威——那么你是否也应该反思：自己是否也在这个问题中推波助澜？

Before others will allow us to hold them accountable, they must first see us hold ourselves accountable now. What if the cause of your problem isn't what you think it is? Habit Three engineer the solution.

在他人允许我们追究其责任之前，他们必须先看到我们对自己负责。也许你所认为的问题根源并非如此？第三个习惯：精心策划解决方案。

When bad things happen, our brains are hard wired to blame the person closest to the mess and ignore other causes. Fortunately, there's, a fix it's called systems thinking, which is noticing how environment and processes influence behavior.

当坏事发生时，我们的大脑天生倾向于责怪离问题最近的人，而忽略其他原因。幸运的是，有一种解决之道——系统思考，即意识到环境和流程如何影响行为。

Systems thinking emerged toward the end of World War Ii, when the US Air Force noticed that a lot of their planes were crashing without any mechanical problems. Their conclusion? Our pilots are idiots, so they engaged some consultants to help them select less error prone pilot pilots.

系统思维诞生于第二次世界大战末期。当时，美国空军注意到许多战机在没有任何机械故障的情况下坠毁。他们得出的结论是？"我们的飞行员都是白痴"——于是他们聘请了一批顾问，试图筛选出"更少犯错"的飞行员。

When the consultants investigated, they discovered they didn't have a pilot problem. They had a cockpit problem, for instance. Pilots confused gear handles that looked and felt the same. If they were located right beside each other, or they mixed up controls if they were in a different position in a different model of plane design.

当顾问们展开调查时，他们发现问题并不在于飞行员本身，而在于驾驶舱设计。例如，飞行员会混淆外观和触感完全相同的起落架手柄——当这些手柄相邻设置时容易误操作；而当不同机型采用不同布局时，他们又会搞混控制装置。

Better cockpits, the consultants concluded, and you'll have fewer crashes. So the US Air Force engineered the solution by simplifying cockpit design. Similarly, when I stop blaming my daughters, I noticed the environmental factors that were influencing their behavior.

顾问们得出结论：更好的驾驶舱设计将减少坠机事故。因此，美国空军通过简化驾驶舱设计找到了解决方案。同样地，当我停止责怪女儿时，我注意到那些影响她们行为的环境因素。

I engineered the solution by putting up clocks and a schedule, so they had the information they needed to take the initiative. Instead of asking, whose fault is this? Ask, where did the process break down?

我通过设置时钟和日程表来设计解决方案，让他们掌握主动所需的信息。不要问"这是谁的错？"而要问"流程哪里出现了断层？"

This question is your secret weapon to short circuit the blame game and find sustainable solutions to your problems. Remember, you can't inspire accountability in others until you model it yourself. The next time you encounter a problem, test this sequence of habits and watch it change your outcomes.

这个问题是你绕过指责游戏、找到问题可持续解决方案的秘密武器。记住，在你自己以身作则之前，无法激发他人的责任感。下次遇到问题时，尝试遵循这个习惯序列，见证它如何改变结果。

Don't blame, look in the mirror and engineer the solution. Be the change that you want to see in others. Our world is in desperate need of more people who take ownership of problems and solutions in our workplaces, our homes and in our society.

不要指责，反躬自省，设法解决。成为你希望在他人身上看到的改变。我们的世界迫切需要更多勇于担当的人——无论是在职场、家庭还是社会，他们都能主动承担责任、直面问题，并积极推动解决方案的落地。

And the secret is. As you model these behaviors, so will those around you. It's kind of magic. Thank you.

秘密在于。当你示范这些行为时，周围的人也会效仿。这有点神奇。谢谢。

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